Turning Fifty
A middle-aged man wearing pajamas is being pushed in a wheelchair down a busy sidewalk by an assistant. He is gaunt and frail-looking. His skin seems to be peeling. His fingernails are a sickening shade of yellow – or is it brown? A surgical mask covers the bottom half of his face, large sunglasses shield the top. He is wearing a red Marines baseball cap. Meanwhile, three children walk ahead of him, a girl with two boys. They seem happy – all three adorable in colorful clothing. They wear large caps but, apparently, not in a deliberate attempt to shield their faces. ‘Slow down,’ the man commands in a hoarse whisper. However, they ignore him as they quickly cross the street. Once on the other side of the street and in front of a book store, they wait for the man in the wheelchair. When he is finally rolled their way, one of the children dutifully holds the door as the man is wheeled into the store. ‘Thank you,’ he says weakly. Then, just as the three children are about to enter the establishment, a wide-eyed stranger approaches the smallest of them. ‘Was that... ?’ she begins to ask. The boy is about to answer when a large man comes between him and the woman. ‘No. That was
not,
’ says the man as he takes the boy by the hand and rushes him into the store. But then the young boy turns to his inquisitor, smiles broadly and mouths just two words:
Michael Jackson.
The scene I’ve just described was typical of what went on in Michael’s life almost every day while he lived in Las Vegas, Nevada, in 2008. For the most part, he spent his time wandering about the city with a gaggle of bodyguards and his three precocious children: Prince Michael I (eleven), Paris (ten) and Prince Michael II (six). He was almost always in a wheelchair, wearing a bizarre outfit and appearing to be at death’s door. Meanwhile, his record-breaking career seemed to be a thing of the past. By all accounts, he was still not motivated to do anything. He had no real plans for the future. He was deeply in debt. As he reached his fiftieth birthday on 29 August, one question sprung to mind: How in the world did it come to this for a kid from Gary who once had it all?
At this time – the summer of 2008 – Michael had a deal pending to do a series of shows in Las Vegas. However, he still didn’t seem to want to work. In his defence, the standards of excellence he set for himself so many years before were so high, they were practically impossible for him to meet. He put it best to me more than ten years ago. ‘When I go onstage, people expect a lot. They want the dancing, they want the spins, and all. They want the whole package. But that’s a lot of work. I don’t know how much longer I can do it. I don’t know when it’ll just not be possible.’
It’s true that Jackson couldn’t go on tour doing anything less than what he did many years ago, his impact on our culture was so great. However, at fifty, he had arthritic-like trouble with his knees, his ankles... even the joints in his fingers. ‘This is why he uses the wheelchair,’ said a source at the time. ‘He’s breaking down in so many ways. It’s hard to imagine him on stage. In fact, it’s hard for
him
to imagine it. And if he can’t see it, no one else ever will...
‘But what’s lacking these days is probably the most important part of any entertainer – his self-confidence,’ continued the same source. ‘It’s what gave him his drive, his creative spirit and voice. But it seems to be gone.’
Also, it seemed that Michael believed the masses of fans who once flocked to his concerts wouldn’t be there for him in 2008. He feared his followers had been turned against him by the trial. For instance, at a meeting with a promoter in Las Vegas, he expressed amazement by the success of the re-release of
Thriller
. ‘I’m really shocked,’ he said. ‘I can’t believe people actually bought it. I heard it sold more than three million copies. Can you believe it?’
‘It was the first timeI had ever known him to be surprised by something doing well,’ said an intimate at that meeting. ‘He was usually surprised by things that did not go well. Plus,
Thriller
has already sold more than 100 million copies, so another three doesn’t seem like much. That he thinks it is suggests that his expectations are pretty low.’
To commemorate the occasion of his fiftieth birthday, a CD called
King of Pop
was released worldwide. British fans compiled the track listing on certain media websites. Basically, it was eighteen of the best Jackson songs as selected by the public. Also, he was the guest vocalist on a song called ‘Hold My Hand’, by a recording artist called Akon. He sounded terrific on it, suggesting that the voice was still there if he was at all interested in using it. But, alas, touring still seemed out of the question. Nothing would have been more embarrassing to him than announcing a tour and then having it suffer weak ticket sales.
Another former associate of Jackson’s saw him in August 2008 at the Treasure Island Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas where he and his children saw a performance of
Mystèry
by Cirque du Soleil. ‘I had heard that he’d recently purchased a home outside of Poughkeepsie, New York, for a million dollars,’ said that source. ‘It’s in the suburbs, in an upper-middle-class neighborhood. Seemed strange to me, but... that’s Michael. However, when I asked him about it, he said, “I think someone in my organization bought that for me. I don’t know... Sounds nice, though. I’ll bet the kids would love it.” He truly did not know the details.
‘I asked about Neverland and if he was happy that it’d been saved. [Jackson’s abandoned hideaway had been scheduled for foreclosure because he was in default on the $25 million loan. But an investment group called Colony Capital LLC purchased the loan at the last minute and saved it.] “Neverland? Why, I don’t know anything at all about Neverland,” Michael told me. “That’s someone else’s problem now, I think. But I’m not sure... ”
‘Then I asked him if he had any plans,’ continued the source. ‘ “For what?” he said. “For the future. Recordings? Tours?” By this time, I could see that he was agitated by my questions. “Look, my plan is to see every magic show in Las Vegas,” he finally said. “That’s my plan.” Then he turned and walked away.’
‘He seems very sad and alone,’ another source told me in the summer of 2008. ‘It’s as if all of those years of success really mean nothing. It was just all fast living and bad personal decisions and hard, hard work. He’s got the Beatles catalog and that’s worth a lot, but it’s all on paper – money put aside for his kids. If he liquidates it, he’d probably spend it all, so it’s good that it’s tied up in loans and other fiscal problems.
‘Thank goodness for his kids, though,’ continued the source. ‘They give him hope.’
From all accounts, Michael was at his best when parenting his children, Prince Michael I, Paris and Prince Michael II, also known as Blanket. All three are very stunning, with high cheekbones and deep-set features. Michael saw a lot of his youthful self in his children, especially in Prince Michael I. All three have musical ability and a sense of style, but he always thought Prince Michael I would be the next star in the family.
For a man so youth-obsessed, so intent on fashioning himself as a child long after he was an adult, many people in his life feared that 29 August would perhaps be a day of reckoning for Michael Jackson. He was middle-aged – past it, really – and there was no turning back now.
‘He spends a lot of time looking in the mirror,’ revealed one of his associates at the time. ‘I think he has certain regrets – like the plastic surgery. “I don’t know what I was thinking back then,” he recently said. “Everyone makes mistakes when they’re young, I guess. But I still look okay, don’t I? I mean, for forty?” I said, “Mike, you’re gonna be fifty.” He gave me an impish smile and said, “It all went by so fast, didn’t it? I wish I could do it all over again, I really do.” ’
Michael made no plans to celebrate his fiftieth, other than in a small, private way with his children. And this time there was no big interview with me to commemorate the occasion. As it happened, turning fifty was not a big deal to Michael anyway. ‘He was sort of fine with it,’ one of his brothers told me. ‘I don’t know... in a senseI was hoping for more of a reaction, I guess. Even despair. At least that’s a real reaction, you know? It’s like that goddamn trial deadened him inside. I want to say, “Mike, wake up! It’s passing you by. Get with it, bro. Live your life before it’s too late.” ’